I’ll be honest … today I struggled worse than the first couple of days. Today, I was struck with a powerful urge to binge, and was so difficult to resist.
It helped me learn what drives me to the kitchen. I’ve found myself returning to the kitchen over and over, opening the cabinets, then closing them and walking away, because nothing in the pantry is on-plan. It’s been an irritating battle, that I wish would just get out of my head.
Due to a bit of anxiety today, I’ve had that overwhelming urge to chew or bite something. Gum doesn’t help for some reason. I want something to crunch, or something sweet. I’ve had something on my mind that I really, really hope works out … but I’ll have to wait until next week to know if it will work out. That has made my anxious/impatient thoughts point straight into the kitchen.
It’s weird. I wish eating something wasn’t a form of comfort for me. When I was younger, I would judge harshly people who said that. Food isn’t comfort, I thought. Food is food. Why would you turn to food for comfort? Well, I get it now.
It didn’t help that my kids’ play of choice after school included food. LOTS of food.
Maybe it’s because it’s back-to-school week, but my energy level is at a -25. And my head hurts. So, I’m keeping this short and sweet.
Sweet. Did I really just say sweet? Geez.