When ADT Asked for a Safe Word, I Couldn’t Believe the Answer.

Natalie Cone | Encouraging and Empowering Women

4/26/12

Natalie Cone | Encouraging and Empowering Women
Photo by Christopher Harris

 

This week an ADT guy came to our door selling security systems. We had been wanting to get one, and this was a great deal. We sat at the table and filled out paperwork, my husband matching the sales manager in equal seriousness and professionalism, while I sat there reminding myself not to sit with my feet in the chair. And wondering what I should cook for dinner. And noticing that it was almost Wesley’s bath time. And worrying about his fever that had not yet gone down. And trying to remember if the dogs had been fed.

I came back to reality just in time to hear the sales manager ask,

“What would you like your password to be? It’s what you will give the operator when they call if the alarm is ever tripped.”

Without hesitation, I said, “How about ‘I love you’?”

The room grew quiet, then everyone burst out laughing. Kris just shook his head. Then the sales manager proceeded to hold his hand to his ear like a phone and say, “I love you too, but ma’am, your alarm is still going off.”

More laughter.

Then the moment was gone, and we got back to paperwork. But later, I revisited the question about the password. I thought about it probably longer than I should have. To my own internal amusement, I imagined humorous scenarios of having an off-the-wall password.

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Operator: Yes, this is Quintessa with ADT Security. We received notification that your alarm is going off. Could you please provide your password?

Me: Password.

Operator: That’s correct. I need your password, please.

Me: Password.

Operator: [voice strained with frustration] No, I don’t need you to repeat me.

Me: I’m not repeating you.

Operator: Ma’am, I just need your password.

Me: Password.

click.

Me: Hello?

Or how about this one?

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Operator: Yes, this is Arnold with ADT Security. We received notification that your alarm is going off. Could you please provide your password?

Me: Die.

Operator: Excuse me?

In one word, things could turn confusing:

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Operator: Yes, this is Lisa with ADT Security. We received notification that your alarm is going off. Could you please provide your password?

Me: Again.

Operator: I said, this is Lisa with ADT Security. We received notification that your alarm is going off. Could you please provide your password?

Me: I said, Again.

Operator: For the third time, this is Lisa with ADT Security. We received notification that your alarm is going off. Could you please provide your password?

Me: I heard you the first time. Again.

[long pause]

Operator: Ma’am, are you okay?

The possibilities are endless. Here are a few more I came up with for your entertainment:

Never.

Gotcha!

What?

Racist.

Whatever.

Moron.

Goodbye.

Bummer.

Maybe.

I’m sure many of you have some good ones. Humor me with yours!

 

 

#empoweredchicks

I Took a Shower While My Son Napped. Then I Heard Screams.

Natalie Cone | Encouraging and Empowering Women

9/22/2011

Natalie Cone | Encouraging and Empowering Women

I had finally gotten Wesley to bed for a nap yesterday.

Judging by the depth of his slumber, I figured he would be out long enough for me to take a shower.

I had even decided to shave my legs using *squeal* shaving foam and actually taking my time!

I got everything prepared… shaving cream on the side of the tub, baby video monitor propped up within view and a towel nearby.

The shower was so warm and relaxing, I sighed the moment I stepped under the spray. I got right to my anticipated task of shaving. Normally, my shave is rushed, resulting in a few nicks and a couple of embarrassing missed spots. But this time, I was going to enjoy every foamy minute of it.

A half of a calf into it, I heard a sound that made me jump out of my skin. A loud, high-pitch screech that sounded like a hawk swooping in for the kill. I jerked open the curtain and watched the monitor, but Wesley was snoozing soundly.

What had I heard? Was there a giant mutant rat in the room? Was there something suspicious in the nursery that was coming through the baby monitor? Thoughts of the paranormal began filling my head.

I started shaving again. A couple of razor-swipes later, I heard it again. Louder, this time. I decided to rush through the rest of my shower and investigate, searching for the source.

Then it sounded again, three times in a row. Coincidentally at the same time that my razor ran across my skin.

You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought, as my heart slowed down to a normal pace.

I pulled the razor up my skin quickly. Sure enough, I’d found the source of the sound. It was nothing but a squeaky razor over my leg where the shaving foam had gotten a little thin. I guess it has been a while since I’ve shaved with foam. Apparently I’d forgotten what happens when the foam gets a little thin in places.

#empoweredchicks