I call it the Mom-Coma.
You know what I’m talking about. It’s the present-in-the-flesh-but-absent-in-the-brain moment where you completely zone out as the chaos builds around you.
Like when your kid is sliding down the back of the tub into the water, creating his personal Niagra Falls right over the edge. You don’t even notice the small ocean covering the tiles and soaking into the bedroom carpet because your brain is at an ACTUAL ocean and you’re caught up in the ACTUAL waves, toes in the sand, sun warming the skin.
Or when you’re cooking an elaborate, delicious, and mostly nutritious dinner (totally pretending to be an award-winning celebrity chef), and have no clue that your boys are having a pee contest off the back deck to see whose stream can reach the farthest.
Or when you’re kicking butt at your workout in your office (totally pretending to be a ninja just getting warmed up) and are oblivious to the giggles while your precious children are turning all the books around backward on the shelf.
Or when you’re enjoying a book in peace and quiet, when … wait … it’s too quiet … I better go check on the … And suddenly a naked boy goes streaking through the room, laughing hysterically.
Or when you’re lost in the lyrical and poetic paragraphs that you’re writing in your journal (totally pretending to be an award-winning novelist), completely unaware of the trail of flour that leads from the pantry to the living room, where a flour-covered couch and toddler can be found.
Or when you’re rummaging through the refrigerator looking for coffee creamer and have no idea your three-year-old is spooning oatmeal into your full, steaming mug.
Call it whatever you want. Mom-brain. Brain-cation. But we’re all well-acquainted with it, and it’s a normal element of parenthood. It’s the making of memories that’ll end up being your favorite. Don’t let it make you feel like a failure.
You’re still a Rockstar.