Who Else Does This When You Write?

The last three weeks have been fully loaded with family events, keeping up with my children, Christmas shopping, and trying to dig myself out of the mess in my house.

A new idea for a series has been tugging at my imagination. I’ve been “writing” as much as possible (aka… rearranging my office) because my word count has been so small. And the process has been agonizingly slow. Good, but slow.

Hello, 4,000 words out of 50,000!!

NaNoWriMo2018 , I think I’ve failed… (NaNoWriMo is an annual writing “sport” of sorts where the writing community challenges themselves to write a novel, 50,000 words in length at least, in the month of November, dubbing it National Novel Writing Month).

Then, closer to the deadline I get (and the more I organize my office), the FULL PICTURE of the entire series slams into my brain, plot holes are suddenly filled, characters are speaking loudly inside my head, and details are lit up like Christmas lights.

This happens Every. Single. Time.

But now … There’s so much to do and so little time. Now, I’ll likely be writing through the night in a fury of inspiration.

I’ve never been able to pace myself, as hard as I try. My best results happen by pulling all-nighters, lighting the keyboard on fire with my fingertips, then sleeping for 24 hours straight.

This “process” (if you can call it that) is near impossible as a parent. Hence, the drastic drop in writing projects since I’ve become a mother. I type using a Bluetooth keyboard in carline. I jot notes on the back of my shopping list in the grocery store parking lot. I save as much as I can using writing apps on my phone.

I’ve been passionate about (read: obsessed with) learning about the process of other writers. Maybe it’s because I love imagining how they do it, stringing words together until they have a beautiful novel. I imagine they sit down im their designsted writing spot (or their writing spot for the moment) and click away on a laptop, piecing together a lovely chapter, clicking “save”, and happily getting back to it the next day. Is this a reality for successful writers, or a ridiculous concept? … Maybe it’s because I’ve always, for YEARS, wanted to learn to write like a grown up. You know, like a REAL writer. Such as developing a daily writing habit. Reaching a daily wordcount goal. Outlining (REAL outling, not descriptive, disconnected paragraphs scribbled on scrap pieces of paper and tossed into a floral box). I’ve always imagined myself telling other writers one day, with an air of importance, “Create a system. One that works like a well-oiled machine. One you can depend on. Like a quality sewing machine that never misses a stitch, even and consistent. Stick with your habit, no matter what. Then you’ll be able to write your novel.” I listen to podcasts of successful writers. I watch interviews of them. I read about them with hopeful bliss, thinking, “That’ll be me one day.”

Right now, the only advice from experience I can give, is to chase that idea while it’s hot … Like gobbling a pancake fresh off the griddle. Once it cools, it’s not nearly as delicious.

Tosca Lee says, “Write how you write best.” Stephen King says to write however works best for you, whatever that looks like. Read, write, repeat (not so much in those words…)

No matter how much time I have in advance, the best work happens at the last minute for me. The majority of the time leading up to the deadline is dreamy contemplation, eliminating characters that don’t fit, scenes that implode, and plot lines that simply don’t work. I call it “mental writing”.

Then, as the pressure of the deadline approaches, and the thrill of completion taunts me, everything comes together in a whirlwind, like a tornado picking up planks of wood and somehow slapping together a gorgeous house.

What is your process? How do you write best? What are your obstacles?

Now… Will someone please come help me put my office back together again…?

That Moment When You Feel Dead, Then Suddenly Awaken

This morning I felt dead.

There was no amount of caffeine to get me going. My energy had apparently packed its energetic little bags and went on vacation.

The boys went back and forth from playing to fighting to playing again. I bounced back and forth from referee to robotic caretaker. Make breakfasts. Make lunches. Oh, I also need breakfast… But coffee first.

Even the animals were high maintenance. The cat wanted out, then back in, then out. Then bumped against my ankles and meowed for who knows what. I petted her. She seemed satisfied. The dog turned his nose up at his food, then pouted because his doggie bed was rumpled.

Dropping the oldest son off at school, we held good conversation about the week so far, what this afternoon will look like, what he looked forward to today, what he was proud of.

On the way home, I yawed a dozen times. It was time to play with the youngest son before he reported to preschool.

We played Pop the Pig (a super cute game that everyone with kids should own!) and two games of checkers. I ignored the dirty dishes in the sink and played along with Caleb’s request to get dressed for school “all by myself”.

And he did.

He ran out of his room, arms outstretched, and a grin of pride spread across his face. Nothing was inside out. Nothing was backward. His shoes were on the right feet.

I let out a cheer, and applauded him. He raced to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, making me stay outside the door. He even wet and combed his hair before asking me to help with the stubborn cowlick in the back.

“I’m a big boy like Wesley now!” he said, shrugging into his backpack instead of whining and asking me to carry it for him. On the way to school, we called Daddy on speaker phone so that he could tell him all about being a big boy. Daddy laughed and said he was proud.

From the rearview, Caleb beamed.

As we turned into the long drive that leads to his school, we kept to routine. I twisted my arm back and unbuckled him, and he climbed into the front seat. He rolled the window down and stuck his head out.

I couldn’t hold back the yawn.

Caleb suddenly shouted, “Woo Hoo! I’m a big boy now! This is the best! Day! Ever!”

Then I awoke.

I saw everything at once. The brown of his hair, the shimmer of red tones in just the right angle of sunlight, the way the strands blew back in the wind.

His blast of enthusiasm hit me like a wave and lit up every cell within me with color and life.

He turned to me. “Look mom! My mouth is all dry! The air dried it out!”

I laughed. And laughed.

And wanted to cry.

We’ve turned a corner. My children are no longer small. The growth rate of these little guys astounds me. And it’s only getting faster.

I noticed how long his legs had gotten. And how small his t-shirt seemed to be. It was fairly new. It would have to be donated soon.

We parked at the curb where the teachers met him at the door.

“Guess what?” He said to the teacher. “I’m a big boy now! I put my shirt on by myself. I put my shorts on by myself. I put my socks on by myself, one at a time…”

As she led him away, listening attentively, he continued to describe his morning.

His backpack, which seemed far too big for him a month ago, was fitting perfectly.

“Slow down,” I whispered as I drove away, wiping away tears and unable to hide my smile of pride. “Please, just slow down.”

10 Simple Ways to Boost Your Mood

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly

There are a million and a half reasons why a person may be feeling down. Or agitated. Or frustrated. You could have stepped on a Lego the first moment your feet hit the floor in the morning. Someone could have hurt your feelings. More seriously, you could have received some terrible news.

Human emotions are complex and mysterious, affected by anything from outside influences, to brain chemistry, to gut health, and even sleep.

Fortunately, positive mood boosts can be quick and simple, and can have a lasting affect on the rest of your day.

  1. Do something nice for someone else.
Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Carl Attard

When you focus on someone else for a few moments, long enough to come up with something nice to do for them, you get outside your own head and refocus your thoughts onto another person’s needs. Bringing them a moment of joy can be contagious. A word of encouragement, a compliment, a cup of coffee, or even a small gift will go a long way to make someone else’s day. After all, you never know how much that person may have needed that small bit of encouragement.

2. Let there be light.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Bruce Mars

In a study on depression, more than half the participants reported a significantly better mood and better sleep after three weeks of bright-light therapy. Each participant were simply exposed to an hour of bright indoor light each day, with findings showing its effectiveness rivaling that of antidepressants. This can be especially helpful for people who suffer from seasonal depression. This effect is much more powerful after spending at least 30 minutes per day in sunshine, which can provide your daily vitamin D needs and reduce blood pressure.

3. Write it down.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Brad Neathery

Keeping a journal has many benefits, especially when you use it to list out things that went well that day. Gratitude journals, for this reason, have become wildly popular. It allows you to focus on the positive, and see a few good things you accomplished. If you make a goal to list at least three good things from the day, you’ll likely find yourself listing five, or even ten. For the stay-at-home mom who gets overwhelmed with housework and all the things she didn’t accomplish, this is a significant mood booster.

4. Pet a dog.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Kat Jayne

I’m not even joking. According to Health.com, petting a dog for 15 minutes releases serotonin, prolactin, and oxytocin, known as the feel-good hormones. I know this to be true when I am running in my neighborhood full of hills. When I feel my energy and motivation start to dwindle, I take a detour to the nearest house with a dog who I know will greet me at the curb. Stopping for a minute or two to catch my breath and pet their sweet puppy heads makes my energy and motivation suddenly rocket. Try to pet a dog without smiling. Go ahead. I dare you. (This includes cats, too.)

5. Stretch your creative muscles.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Brigitta Schneiter

I truly believe that every single person is creative in their own way. My husband is creative in the kitchen and while woodworking, even though he says he isn’t the “creative type”. I’m a writer who adores creative wordplay (my husband calls me the “artsy fartsy type”). God is the most gifted Creator who made our entire universe from literal scratch. No matter your personality type or interests, you are creative. This includes gardening, jewelry making, scrapbooking, upcycling clothes, reorganizing your closet (seriously, people are so incredibly creative the way a single outfit can be assembled – I do not possess this gift). If nothing else, sing! Put on some music and break out into a dance. Who cares if anyone is listening or watching? Go for it, and reap the mood-boosting (or sassy) rewards.

6. Get out of the house.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Christian Gertenbach

Getting out of the house often is a major mood-lifter. Trust me. I love being at home, but depression sets in more frequently and deeply when I don’t go anywhere (carline in your pj’s doesn’t count). Now that school is out, I’ve made a commitment to go somewhere every single day. My sons fight less, and I somehow feel more free. I’ve joined the Y, braved shopping with my kids, gone to the zoo, visited the McWane Center, visited friends. We’ve scoured thrift stores and browsed farmer’s markets. My house is a mess right now, but hey, we’re happy.

7. Visit a friend.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Katie Treadway

According to Reader’s Digest, a British study of 86 depressed women showed the benefits of spending at least one hour per week with a friend. In the study, 65% of the women felt much better after being with a friend. This is true for both introverts and extroverts (so, no excuses, introverts!). I can attest to this personally (as an introvert, myself). I’ve noticed a marked boost to my overall mood when I’ve been with a close friend. There’s magic in relationships.

8. Grab a cup of coffee.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly

There’s also magic in coffee – but you knew this already, right? Edward J. Cumella, PhD, licensed psychologist and director of research and education for the Remuda Ranch Treatment Centers in Wickenburg, Arizona, swears that caffeine consumed in moderation decreases the risk of depression by more than 50%. Plus, there is a special kind of joy that comes with choosing which flavored creamer you’ll use that day, right? Oh, yes.

9. Diet and exercise.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Bruno Nascimento

Ugh. Of course this would have to be included on the list. But its true. Unhealthy foods encourage “leaky gut”, which is defined by HealthyWomen.org as a condition in which toxic waste products and bacteria leak through the intestines and flood the blood stream, causing anything from inflammation, allergic reactions, migraines, irritable bowel, eczema, chronic fatigue, rheumatoid arthritis, hormone imbalances, and a weakened immune system. Exercise will release tons of feel-good hormones, and help you maintain good posture, muscle tone, and heart health. So go ahead and sign up for that Zumba class. You might even enjoy it.

10. Pray.

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly
Photo by Michael Heuss

God is your creator, the ultimate Free Spirit. He knows your physical, mental and emotional design more intimately than most give Him credit for. He knows exactly how you function, your habits, and your needs. When you dive into the scripture and meditate on His power, it reminds us that this life is not, in fact, about us at all. Focus on His never ending patience and love for you, and the fact that He’ll never give up on you. It’s okay to pray away the blues – you might just discover that it is the single most powerful way to get rid of negative moods.

 

#betheanomaly

 

 

Sources: Healthywomen.org Health.com, Prevention, Reader’s Digest

Every Time I am Asked This Question, My Heart Siezes

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly

It never fails.

Every time I encounter someone who asks, “How’s the writing going?”, my heart siezes and gets lodged in my throat.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being asked the question (despite my knee-jerk emotional reaction). It’s a sign of support. It’s a sign of care. Of interest.

But what leaps into my mind isn’t that incredible short story that I recently submitted to a contest. Or that article that took a lot of work, but was deeply satisfying to see in print. No, the only things that come to mind are the broken stories that never made it to the eyes of a reader, and the failed ambitions that make me want to crouch in a corner and whimper.

I see that romance novel I wrote that never made it to the shelves. That Young Adult fantasy novel that never made it to revision stages, even after an agent enthusiastically asked me to send her the full manuscript the moment it’s polished up. That new idea, the dark fairytale re-imagining that I was so excited about, I even told people about it as a way of accountability, forcing me to the finish line with supporting friends/family looking out for it.

When my cousin recently asked me The Question the other day, I found myself hanging my head and saying, “I don’t know, you know? Maybe novel writing isn’t my thing.”

I then wanted to kick myself. I wanted to tell him about the short story I wrote about a middle-aged man who met an Arabian princess on as subway train (Death Over Coffee), or about the post-apocalyptic novelette about a community of survivors learning just how important it is to rely on each other (Pretty Little Ponies).

I wanted him to read them.

Photo by Simson Petrol

And you know what? Maybe novel writing isn’t my thing. So what? Novels aren’t the Mark of a Writer. It isn’t the only way to tell a story.

Take Jason Reynolds, the extremely talented poet who writes raw and real stories exactly as he sees them. His novel “A Long Way Down” is a beautiful, quick read compared to the average young adult novel as thick as a brick.

Or what about Stephen King? Sure, he has novels to his name, but his short stories are the favorites among many of his fans.

In THIS VIDEO, Robert McCammon says this about writing short stories: “You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you’re telling a unique story that would never be told unless you tell it.”

I swear I’m not trying to compare myself to, or place myself in the same category as, big time authors. I’m not trying to justify my failures.

But I am pointing out what they did RIGHT.

They WROTE.

They didn’t give up.

No matter the length, content, genre popularity, these guys just plain wrote what was in their head. They let the story just be what it is.

Photo by Artak Petrosyan

And it WORKED.

So that is how it should be. That is how it will be. That is what I’ll do.

I’ll write on.

 

#betheanomaly

Cat Chronicles, Episode #5: Defiance

Natalie Cone | be the anomaly

Shadow never did appreciate the fact that she was rescued. It was two days before Halloween. She had a solid black soul… er, I mean fur…, when she crossed my path at just five weeks old.

Against all odds, I pulled over and rescued her.

I gave her a nice, warm home. Nice, delicious food. Nice, wet water (which she now demands that I warm up for her… But that’s another post.)

After sleeping on whatever surface was soft enough for her standards (usually smack in the middle of the dog’s blanket, much to his irritation), I decided she needed a bed of her own.

 

 

I went to the store and promised to let the boys help me decide.

There was a small, round bed that looked just her size. And it was cheap: that’s a plus. But no, the boys wanted something better. I guess it was pretty thin…

They chose a cush, luxurious bed with flexible sides for lounging in all of her odd positions. The boys were very enthusiastic about it. So I forked over the twenty bucks and left with the new bed.

I brought it home and opened the little packet of catnip that came as a bonus, and started to dump it out into the bed.

I hesitated, then decided to text my friend Heather, who is a cat whisperer if I’ve ever seen one.

What do I do with this stuff? I typed. Pour it out into the bed?

Oh no, don’t use the whole packet, she sent back. Take a little out and rub it into the middle of the bed. Then put the bed somewhere that she sleeps often. She’ll come to it.

I thought of the other generous gifts she’d rejected. Remember the scratching post you bought her? That fancy one? She won’t touch it. She still sharpens her claws on the side of the couch. 

Hm… I guess she likes the feel of her claws in the couch better. Give the bed a try. There’s a good chance she’ll love it.

The dog was currently occupying his bed, so I placed the cat bed on the couch cushion she seems to prefer. I called her over and patted her new bed.

She ignored me.

I picked her up and set her down next to it. She followed the scent of the catnip and sniffed the middle of the bed.

I held my breath.

She set one paw in. Then another.

I chewed my nails. Could this possibly be the one moment she finally accepts me?? I mean, not that it matters or anything…  Ahem.

She sniffed around a little more, then stepped back out, curled up on the couch cushion next to the bed, and fell asleep.

Ungrateful little…

For the next three days I set the bed in all of her favorite places, occasionally daring to actually set her in it. More than once, she took a nap directly beside it, I’m sure, to spite me.

I tried acting very enthusiastic about it.

“Ooooh, what a nice bed this is! Wanna come give it a try? It’s so soft. So very, very soft. Twenty bucks worth of fluff, right here. Come check it out!”

She was not enthusiastic in the least.

Now here it sits. Empty. I refuse to give up on it entirely.

Milo, on the other hand, is more than happy to sleep on his new bed he got for Christmas. (Just look how handsome and grateful he is, looking all picture perfect with his sweet little paws crossed, and his sweet little eyes…)

The defiance continues, however.

Last week I decided to spread a blanket over my pristine white quilt where she often sleeps. I had hoped it would protect our bed from her shedding.

I’ll give you ONE guess where she curled up to take a nap:

 

#betheanomaly